DUDE , I LIKE YOU

After the case about Pn.H , i just keep quiet after that.I can't forget on how she said about me.But, someone made me smile ..

Masa aku keluar dari sekolah (lepas habis sekolah lah =.=),Aku berdiri dengan asilla kat pondok.Then, Aleea datang.Dia cakap "fiahh , A kirim salam ;)" "shhhh.." pastu dia terus blah -.- I was like '"what the hell she just talk about?"

I just ignored it.While we waited for the transport,Amer duduk sebelah asilla pastu dia panggil A "oii A,lepakk dulu.Tengok,aku duduk dengan asilla" *smthinlikethtlahh:)* . A look around then he walk beside me,"kalau macam tu,aku lepak dgn Afiah laa" I looked at him and laugh.He just looked t me and ask me "ehh,kau bulan 5 kan lahir ?" , "yepp" aku jawab. the he was like "oh! you're up me.:("

at the evening - after co-curiculum activity Asilla and I walked back to home.But,we stop at the topup shop.Asilla went there and I went to the public phone to call my mom.I saw A and his friend and pretended i don't see them.While i was dailing my mom number, "hah!!!" I was SHOCKED ! A just suprised me.He came from the back of the phone booth and give me a shocked -.-. I was like "where the hell he just come from? i thought they didnt see me"
And we are like ... umm .. berdiri kat situ berdua.Kawan2 dia pulak boleh berdiri kat tepi tengok kitorang.Asilla pulak pergi berdiri dekat kedai toupup tengok kitorang dari jauh .. O.O

By fate , we wore the same beg.Mr.A showed off said that he wore the same beg with me.I was just laughing like stupid .. haha !

Honestly , yeahh , i like him and i can say I'M COMPLETLY OVER MR.S :) because of him.I just can say he made my day.everytime i felt sad or dissapointed.He will cheer me up EVEN he not doing anything.Just looking at his face make me back to normal and smile .. I just know that i'm falling for her when all the love songs make sense ..

After the case about Pn.H , i just keep quiet after that.I can't forget on how she said about me.But, someone made me smile ..

Masa aku keluar dari sekolah (lepas habis sekolah lah =.=),Aku berdiri dengan asilla kat pondok.Then, Aleea datang.Dia cakap "fiahh , A kirim salam ;)" "shhhh.." pastu dia terus blah -.- I was like '"what the hell she just talk about?"

I just ignored it.While we waited for the transport,Amer duduk sebelah asilla pastu dia panggil A "oii A,lepakk dulu.Tengok,aku duduk dengan asilla" *smthinlikethtlahh:)* . A look around then he walk beside me,"kalau macam tu,aku lepak dgn Afiah laa" I looked at him and laugh.He just looked t me and ask me "ehh,kau bulan 5 kan lahir ?" , "yepp" aku jawab. the he was like "oh! you're up me.:("

at the evening - after co-curiculum activity Asilla and I walked back to home.But,we stop at the topup shop.Asilla went there and I went to the public phone to call my mom.I saw A and his friend and pretended i don't see them.While i was dailing my mom number, "hah!!!" I was SHOCKED ! A just suprised me.He came from the back of the phone booth and give me a shocked -.-. I was like "where the hell he just come from? i thought they didnt see me"
And we are like ... umm .. berdiri kat situ berdua.Kawan2 dia pulak boleh berdiri kat tepi tengok kitorang.Asilla pulak pergi berdiri dekat kedai toupup tengok kitorang dari jauh .. O.O

By fate , we wore the same beg.Mr.A showed off said that he wore the same beg with me.I was just laughing like stupid .. haha !

Honestly , yeahh , i like him and i can say I'M COMPLETLY OVER MR.S :) because of him.I just can say he made my day.everytime i felt sad or dissapointed.He will cheer me up EVEN he not doing anything.Just looking at his face make me back to normal and smile .. I just know that i'm falling for her when all the love songs make sense ..

p/s ; dude , i like you .. don't love someone else

MIDDLE FINGER FOR HER ;)

hai :) wanna know who ? 

Today , add math subject.I hand in my exercise.I just copy the note and the exercise because i've absent fro 3 days and i don't know a single fuck they've been learning.So,i just copied cause i'm scared she will get mad if i don't do.

But then , she criticize us.Blablablablabla and bla .. .. Jawapan aku dengan asilla,chai,liana dan ain semua sama sebab kitorang tak datang.So,kitorang tiru je lahh.Kang kalau tak siap nota/latihan dia bising.Liana tiru Chai,Aku tiru Chai,Asilla tiru aku.At the end,semua salah at the same spot.Dia pun marah-marah gitulahh.

afther recess,Chai bagitau she talk crap about ME ! She ask Chai whether Chai copy Liana's work.Chai cakap tak.Dia tanya lagi,"then , afiah yang tiru you ke?"

*i forgot what chai's answer* , then she said "afiah tu memang pemalas.Suka tiru jawapan orang (something like that lahh )and so on" Dia kutuk aku depan Chai,kawan baik aku.Chai bagi tau aku.Aku menangis

Yeahh , i did .. WTF?!!! am i the only one wrong ?! WHY THE HELL SHE JUST TALK SHIT ABOUT ME ?! Liana,Asilla and Ain also wrong ? Why wouldnt she said we are at the same fault ? Why does she need to pick my name ?! Saying that i'm a lazyhead girl ?!!!! 

Look,before last week exam.She told me "Afiah! please dont fail add math othewise i'll change your class".I'M WORKING MY ASS OF TO PASS MY EXAM ! AND I DID .. I got 44% but it still pass .. She can admired other hardwork,but why not me ? Am i that bad in her eyes ? Why the fuck she always making me .. UGHHH ! FUCK HER ! some of my friends,fail it.But she don't give a damn about it.

Heyy you ! yeahh you PN.H ! I'm sick of you and i'm losing my respect iin you ! GET YOUR BIG ASS OUT FROM THE SCHOOL ! We don't need a teacher that always comparing other with other.You're so Arrogant ! go and live with it.You know,now i dont care and i'd dont wanna give a damn on what you think on me.FUCKK OFF BITCH ! 

IS IT MY FAULT ? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DO THIS TO ME ?

crying ? yeahh , again and again because of him.He really did move on isnt he ? It just so hard accepting that he's laughing in other girl embrance.They look like a lovey dovey couple.I'm scrolling down his message.And i end up here,writing and crying.I really just want him to dissapear infront of me so that i can't see him again and that bitch.Ughh ~ i just . I dont know.Is it my fault ? cause i'm the one who let him go.But the pain that he gave me,i can't endure it anymore.after all i said and he just accept it that way and not replying me anything.I hate him.Why?why he must do this to me ? Pain,thats all i felt when i see him.Seeing him laughing with somebody else.Its hurt so much.

Honestly,i just want to dissapear from all this.I want to make a new life.I really want.I dont want to face him again.I'm scared that i will not be able to forget him and my heart will hurt seeing him with his girl.That fuckin' bitch is really get into my nerves ! i hate her.Ohh ~ no , i should hate both of them.I SHOULD.

I just miss him calling me "you're mine.." . I miss saying i love you at night.I miss his voice.I miss hearing i miss you from his mouth.I miss his gazed.I miss when he depend me.I miss when he help me.I miss everything about him.I miss US.I am such a fool.He doesnt love me.HE DOESNT LOVE ME ! thats the FACT ! I should gettin used to it.

I should try to accept that he had move on.I should try to accept that he's gone.I should try to accept that we are over.I should try to accept that missing him like crazy wont make he came back to me.I should try accept the fact that he'll one day have his own girl.I should try to accept that he will love someone else.I shoult try to accept that we are strangers.I should tryy .... i should... 

WHY DO I NEED TO SEE ALL THOSE THINGS ?!

ohh hai ..

i'm not in mood today.Just want to release my anger or should i say jealousy(?).yeahh ~ maybe i did.Shorting the story,today i see Mr.S and Mrs.F (new admirer of him) sitting together.I'm coming early today the i saw both of them sitting next to each other,closely.And i was hurt.So much.Why he can do that while he can't with me.I want an explanantion,WHY WHY WHY and WHY ?! I am stupid cause i still think of him while he had move on and don't even think about me.How stupid was that ? Is he really a coward for not explain to me why he did all that to me ? I wish i've never fall for him.NEVER.cause its hurt so much :( . So much until i cried now.


thank you Mr.S .. thank you so much

I STILL CARE

heyy peeps ..

Today i have nothing to do so i log in my blogger and scroll down all my old post.It gave me a big laugh ! yeah , i know .. i'm laughing to something i wrote by my own.But .. you guys should try it sometime.It makes you realize how you are from the past and how much you've changed.Well~ sometimes we change even without we notice (i think my eng is gettin' terible -.-)

Okayy so i scroll down and i found the post i wrote about MR.S.then i realized how much i fall for him.I realized how much i love him before and i keep thinking is the love i had for him before have already gone ? for love , i dont have the answer yet.But if u ask me if i still care for him AS A FRIEND,i did and i really care.Cause he once be part of my life and i dont want anything happen to him.Its not wrong right ?

As i read all the post,i feel like a crazy mad girl who falling hard for this boy -.- . And that time,i realize that love really mad people goes crazy.*smile* I read,read and read.I found that myself really missed him.So much.I wonder what he will do if he read all the post i wrote about him.*smirk* i guess he will say "ohmyy! i really did drive a girl go crazy" or this is what i dreamed of " gosh! she really love me,why did i treat her like a trash?! how stupid i am" huhu ~~ it just what i want him to say.

I wish when i died,someone will print out all the post i wrote and show it to him so that he know how much i love him and how much i dissapointed on how he treated me.I hope he realized one day that he lost someone that really loved him.Euyy ! am i not too young to say all that ? huft ~ whatever. I love him so i should say it , right ?

HAHA ! okayy , you guys must be tired cause i repeat 'i love him' like thousands ! SORRY ! but i can't hold it ..

i should end this late night writing now . ~ bye :) lot of love from me .

OHHH !! SALAM MAULIDUR RASUL.

THIS CRUSH THING NEED TO END

Hai again bloggers ..

I'm not in a good mood today so i decided to take a few minutes to update my blog.Well, yeah ~ i'm going to talk about my crush .. Honestly, its my 2nd crush on him ... Hmm ~ i've like him when i was grade 4.Back then,it was a little kid crush.No need to take serious.

After 6 years,those feeling comeback and this time worst -.-.Gosh ~ i hate when i like him but i can't seem to tell him.*rolleyes* i need a lot of encouragement to do that.But i know now,this crush thing need to end now.I need to stop.FOR REAL ! He's my friend afterall .. i don't this stupid crush thing make him uncomfortable around me.

So,i guess this is the end.Me, Nurafiah dilla announced that i'll stop FOR REAL to hve thos crush thing to MR.A :) kkeut ~

For those who still think about me hve a feelings for MR.S (STILL) .. well , i think i'm not but i do know i still care about him.Deep in me , i still care for him and i want to befriends with him again.But,i guess its not going to happen.He avoid me and not talking to me.Not a single word.I really felt dissapointed.I really want him to take the first step to try and talk to me.Maybe as a friend ? there's must be a reason why.I think 1.HE REALLY DONT WANNA HAVE ANY REALTIONSHIP WITH ME AFTER ALL I SAID TO HIM . 2.HE STILL LOVED ME AND CAN'T TAKE TO THINK ME AS HIS FRIEND (i'm so full ofmyself,i know ---.).But still,it might be one of those reason right ? frankly speaking , i really miss him.So much and some times i watch him for far.When i walked passed him,i still felt my heart beating like crazy -.- . How stupid i am ? i love him but i stil dare to say i want him after all i said to him is break up.But,whos wrong in this actually.Gosh ! i'm really really sad . ~~ i can't bear watching him talking with another girl while he donsn't say a word to me.Its really hurting.And i want him to know .. 


Heyy MR.S , could you get back to yourself and talk to me please ? i'n dying cause i miss you voice so much .. i know i look pathetic afteri said to you that i want a break up.(but wht ! its your fault too) . I've said in my last message that you can avoid me as much as you want but i don't mean it.But you take it serious and avoiding me all time.Its really frustrated to being in this situation.COme on boy ! hve a courage to talk to me.even you said HI , i will smile happily all day long.I just want you to look in my eyes and talk to me.But i know , its not going to happen because we're not friend amymore .. 

LONG TIME NO SEE

Assalamualaikum bloggers :)

its been a long time , right ? miss me ? haha ^^ OKayy , straight to the points .. there's so many things happen lately .. i mean SO MUCH =.= there's sad , happy and a annoyed things .. but its okayy .. i'll be fine ^^ i'm a tough girl , remember ?

hmm ~ newest thing that happen to me is about the gossip between me and my COUSIN (?) haha ! it just a joke that my family made but its .. -.- uh ! i hate gossip . Another thing is about me and my dream ... haha ! this dream totally freak me out ! even now i can still remember each part of it .. uhghhh ~ NOT TELLING .

As conclusion , i think everything goes smoothly for this month .. i hope it'll be better next .. i wishh .. :) so ! happy holiday and i'll meet you later at the next post .. bye !

THE SADDEST YEAR EVER :(

Assalamualaikum all ~

I know its been ages since i update my blogg.I'm just to busy to suit mysef in form 4 life.In 3 weeks of school,so many things happen.What worse is,my friends are all leaving.No,my BESTFRIEND.We're the 3 'sisters'.I felt really lost because after Afifah leave for TEKNIK GOMBAK,form 4 girls prefect have only me and asilla.JUST THE TWO OF US managing the whole form 4 girls !

All other members has resigned.After this,Asilla will leave me for her TEKNIK LANGKAWI.And BAM ! i was all alone.Totally a shit ! i really hate form 4 this year ! other things is,i got the prinsip akauan class.We got ekonomi asas,akaun and add math.But 'they' said if half of 4A leaves for boarding school,we the member of class 4B will be transfered to pure science class ! WTF ?!!! we don't even have a chance to choose our own class ? IT US WHO WILL BE STUDYING AND ITS OUR RESULT YOU WILL BE RUIN ON !!!!!! What if we can't take the pure science ? will you be responsible for our SPM's result ? Will you be responsible if we can't get throught any of the unversities ?

GOSH ! SMK DAMANSARA DAMAI 1 ! please change !! I know what i will do , if they force us to got to 4A class,i'm going to beg my mom to transfer me to the new school and i don't wanna give a damn in this school again !

and next week is a holiday ! yeay ! Afifah will come back for holiday ... !! :) but after holiday .. Asilla will gone to Langkawi :(


p/s : me,being alone in this school.I've never imagined that.

PAGE 9 OF 366

he's not leaving =) 

BOLD WHAT APPLIES TO YOU

• I am a male.
• I am a girl
• I am shorter than 5’4.
• I have many scars.
• I tan easily.
• I wish my hair was a different color.
• I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
• I have a tattoo.
• I want a tattoo. 
• I am self-conscious about my body.
• I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger. 
• I have more than 2 piercings. 
• I have a piercing in a place other than my ears
• I have freckles.
• I’ve sworn at my parents.
• I’ve run away from home.
• I’ve been kicked out of the house. 
• I have a sibling less than one year old.
• I want to have kids someday.
• I’m in school.
• I’ve lost a child.
• I have a job. 
• I’ve fallen asleep at work/school.
• I always do/did my homework.
• I’ve missed a week or more of school.
• I failed more than 1 class last year.
• I’ve stolen something from my job. 
• I’ve slipped out a “lol” in a spoken conversation.
• Disney movies still make me cry.
• I’ve peed from laughing. 
• I’ve snorted while laughing
• I’ve cried from laughing so hard.
• I’ve glued my hand to something.
• I’ve had my pants rip in public.
• I was born with a disease/impairment.
• I’ve broken a bone.
• I’ve gotten stitches/staples.
• I’ve had my tonsils removed.
• I’ve sat in a doctor’s office/emergency room with a friend.
• I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed. 
• I had a serious surgery. 
• I’ve had chicken pox. 
• I’ve had measles.
• I’ve driven over 200 miles in one day.
• I’ve been on a plane.
• I’ve been to Canada. 
• I’ve been to Mexico. 
• I’ve been to Niagra Falls.
• I’ve been to Japan.
• I’ve been to Africa.
• I’ve been to Hawaii.
• I’ve gotten lost in my city.
• I’ve seen a shooting star.
• I’ve wished on a shooting star.
• I’ve seen a meteor shower.
• I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas. 
• I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
• I’ve kicked a guy where it hurts.
• I’ve been to a casino.
• I’ve been skydiving.
• I’ve gone skinny dipping. 
• I’ve played spin the bottle.                                       
• I’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
• I’ve crashed a car.
• I’ve been skiing.
• I’ve been in a play.
• I’ve met someone in person from Facebook.
• I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.
• I’ve seen the Northern lights.
• I’ve sat on a roof top at night.
• I’ve played chicken.
• I’ve played a prank on someone
• I’ve ridden in a taxi.
• I’ve seen Rocky Horror Picture Show.
• I’ve eaten sushi.
• I’ve been snowboarding.
• I’m single forever
• I’m in a “it’s complicated” relationship.
• I’m in a relationship. 
• I’m engaged.
• I’m married.
• I’ve gone on a blind date.
• I’ve been the dumped more than the dumper.
• I miss someone right now.
• I have a fear of abandonment.
• I’ve gotten divorced.
• I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back
• I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
• I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
• I’ve kept something from a past relationship.
• I’ve had a crush on a teacher. 
• I’ve been kissed in the rain.
• I’ve hugged a stranger.
• I have kissed a stranger.
• I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t.
• I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
• I’ve snuck out of my house.
• I have lied to my parents about where I am.
• I am keeping a secret from the world.
• I’ve cheated while playing a game. 
• I’ve cheated on a test. 
• I’ve ran a red light.
• I’ve been suspended from school.
• I’ve witnessed a crime.
• I’ve been in a fist fight.
• I’ve been arrested. 
• I’ve passed out from drinking.
• I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
• I’ve smoked.
• I’ve smoked weed. 
• I’ve taken painkillers when I didn’t need them.
• I’ve eaten mushrooms.
• I’ve popped E.
• I’ve inhaled Nitrous.
• I’ve done hard drugs.
• I have cough drops when I’m not sick.
• I have 3 pills at a time no problem. 
• I have been diagnosed with depression.
• I have been diagnosed with one or more anxiety disorders.
• I’ve taken an anti-depressant.
• I have been anorexic or bulimic
• I’ve slept an entire day without needing to go pee.
• I’ve hurt myself on purpose.
• I’ve woken up crying.
• I’m afraid of dying.
• I hate funerals.
• I’ve seen someone dying.
• Someone close to me has committed suicide
• I’ve written a eulogy for myself.
• I own over 5 rap CDs.
• I own an IPod or an MP3 player.
• I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga. 
• I own something from Hot Topic.
• I own something from Pac Sun.
• I collect comic books. 

I LOVE HIM BUT I LIKE 'HIM'

Assalamualaikum w.b.t =)

2nd day of school .. quite good =) but .. the add math class make me down -.- There is this teacher who really LOVE to 'attack' me in class since LAST YEAR ! She taught us mathematics last year and i always got E for her subject.HAHA! maybe thats why she worried(?) and always saying this and that to me.But,the tone and the way she told me it was REALLY annoyed me ! -.- and this year she is my add.math teacher and the first thing she said to me is  "Afiah,are you sure you wanna take add math class ? please think it back.I really mean it.THINK IT BACK" .Wasn't that annoying ? but i do think of that.I don't sure myself whether i can do the add.math or not.

Okayy~let it be .I'll think it later.I now,you guys are anxious about the title right ? huhu ~ this is how the story goes >> i've just broke up with MR.S.But,till now i really do love him and its not change.But then,there is one guy.i'll named him as MR.A .He is my classmate last year.Automatically,he's my friend and last year he fall for my friend.He ask me to help him to get that girl but it's a failue and HE'S REJECTED.Well, after that we start to get close.Talking this and that every night and everytime we have a free time.We shared and talk about lot of things.

After all this time,i'm gettin used to him be around me.One day,he told me that he got an offer from a boarding school.Honestly,when i read his messages i felt a little hurt inside.I ask him whether he want to accept or not.He said he don't want but his father force him to.So,he told me that he's going.And i don't know why i felt really hurt and feels like half of me is gone.I feel really lost.And i know,i will miss him.

Is it wrong if i said I LOVE MR.S (still) BUT I LIKE MR.A ? Am i a bad girl ? UH ~ and tomorrow is the only day i get a chance to see MR.A cause next week he's already ..... leave.Gosh ~ i already miss him.But ! its still not too late to kill this feelings for him.Yeahh ~ i need to kill this LIKE feeling for him.Can i ? or i'll just miss him more ? uh ~~ I HATE THIS FEELING :( ..

But,for me and mr.s.We both know that its hard for us to be together again.I mean,if he rather love than fight(?) i would lay my armour down and we'll be together again.Will we ? time will decide everything..

MR.A,can't you just stay and be here with me?i need you too badly :( . i think i'm going to cry on the day you leave.I wish i could tell you my feeling but it'll just ruin our friendship.I rather be as friend then you'll never talk to me after i confess.My feelings,i'll try to end it.Ohmyy ~ T.T .. uh ~ take care and please come back.I hope you won't find someone else and realize that there is me here .. waiting(?) haha ! .. goodbye .. we'll see each other again.InsyaALLAH .. 




MR.A,when you'll start to text me and saying you're sorry ? You just to egois ! you know how much i love you before but you're just easily .. let me go .. hu ~ i hope that one day i'll receive a text messages from you saying you're sorry for everything and how you treated me.Is it so hard ? i know deep in my heart ,.. i want YOU back but i know that it'll make me hurt more.








p/s : if i need to choose , i'll make up with mr.s and just stay as friend with mr.a.Err,maybe .. :) night ^^

a short update for today ..

i'm not going to talk about the first day of school cause it suck.I want to share about something that really hurt me to see.

Today,you showed my your tears.For the first time,you burst into tears infront of me in SCHOOL.You know what,i kinda love that moment when you cried because that means you really love and appriciate me as your friend.But,i felt hurt seeing you cry like that.If i'm not strong enough,i would cry also.

Tick tock tick tock .. only 2 days left for we hanging out together.Time being such a jealousy.Goshh ~ i can't believe you're going.I don't know how should i face it.I'll MISS you so much.So muchh ~~.Honestly,everytime i think that you'll be leaving automatically i'll cry.I don't want you to go .. ~ such a selfish friend.haha !

I can't write anymore.My eyes is tearing too much.Take care buddy.I LOVE YOU

p/s ; A single rose can be my garden... a single friend, my world

LAST HANGOUT 2011

Assalamualaikum,
its been a long time since i update my blog.Hmm..jaljinesseo?Yesterday i had my last hangout with asilla and afifah.Along with Asilla's cousin,iqa and her friend kak.mira.We had fun! This time,we're not going to watch movies but acting more lady-like,we went for a WINDOW SHOPPING ! woohoo ~ haha !Well guys,we are 16 and its a normal teenagers do right?Plus,its YEAR END SALE !A lot of discount ! At padini's store,afifah bought a watch for asilla's farewell gift.Forgot to mention that asilla are going to SMV LANGKAWI to continued her studies in business.I hope she'll do well.


after that,we wandering around THE CURVE,going in and out of store like a rich girl having a window shopping.HAHA ! And for me i've bought a blouse(?) for asilla.And she bought us a BFF's necklace.After had enough at THE CURVE,we went to ONE UTAMA and more shopping.Pass 5 hour,we headed back :) I'll show u some pictures we snap together !

the necklace

snap by;atiqah 

afifah and me ^^

this is after asilla's left

lunch time!